Late to Class: Weird Professors

You're an adult going back to college. You assume that every time you see a professor or instructor standing in front of your class, that person is highly educated, qualified and competent to be there.

Maybe yes, maybe no.

Having been a college instructor on more than one campus, and now that no college is signing my paycheck, I'm going to let you in on a dirty family secret: some professors are there because they couldn't get a job in the Real World.

In some quarters of Academia, the possession of a PhD is equivalent to god-like status. In reality, such is not always the case. (I have one of those things; although i worked hard for it and I'm glad I accomplished it, I still say that the initials sometimes represent "Piled Higher and Deeper." )

When you're sizing up a professor or instructor, here are some guidelines:

1. Notice whether the instructor seems well prepared and up-to-date for the lecture. Are the lecture note cards printed on yellowed, frayed paper? Does the lecture seem to be about 10 years old in its content?

2. Notice in the question-and-answer exchanges if the professor responds with , "That was a good question" and then moves on to another student's question without ever answering the first question.

3. Notice whether the lecture and the homework assignments are given in a mechanical, robotic, sing-song voice, as though the prof has been saying the same thing for past 15 years. (That may be the case.)

4. Notice whether the professor bristles when a student disagrees with him/her in class discussion. Notice if the prof implies that such disagreement can lead to lower grades for those offenders.

5. Notice if the professor never mentions the homework reading assignment of 50 pages that you stayed up all night to digest. Does the professor always take a separate track, without connecting with what you were assigned?

6. Notice  if the professor uses complex, technical terms without ever defining them. Does the prof assume that because he/she knows the words, everybody else in the world does, too?

7. Notice if the professor projects the notion that "if it's not my idea, it's not a good idea." Such an instructor may resist tolerating fresh, new approaches to a topic brought into the discussion by students.

8. Notice if the professor seems to use The Gradebook as a Weapon of Terror. In playing the College game, remember that the Gradebook is the ultimate trump card, but mark that professor as less than professional in a perspective on grades. (One popular saying among college profs is "I don't give you a grade. You earn it." Sometimes that's true and sometimes it isn't.)

9. If you're dealing with a professor with a sensitive ego, do not blaspheme the gods of that professor. By that I mean the favorite authors and academic scholars that this professor quotes frequently. If such a professor is teaching your class, you do not use the essay exam to tear up the weak philosophies of those academic gods--unless you have an academic death wish.

10. If you encounter a professor or instructor with several of the traits mentioned above, consider this as an explanation: the professor has been doing the same thing in the Ivory Tower for too many years, has lost touch with the real world, and couldn't hold down a job in corporate America if his/her life depended on it. The person is stuck in habits not to be changed. And that person will continue to be employed unless he's caught in an unspeakable moral offense. You can either withdraw from the class or take a deep breath and practice endurance. Then warn all your friends to avoid this prof if at all possible.

NOTE: To be fair and balanced, I have to say that you may encounter a professor who makes you work up a sweat in preparing for each class. This professor may challenge some of your standard concepts. But this professor may be doing a good job in waking up your mind and making you do some critical thinking. If you ask some of your college classmates, you may find that the professors they called the toughest were actually the ones who taught them the most.