For Cancer Patients: Make a Crap Line

A number of years ago, while undergoing 12 months of chemotherapy following cancer surgery, I invented something for my own use.

I called it "the crap line", and I share it here for others going through the same tough time.

If you've never had chemotherapy, you need to know that for about two weeks of a month, you have a low energy level. For the other two weeks of the month, you have a sub-low energy level.

In my own life, I was a single mom with three daughters, teaching college English classes, and hosting a radio talk show on weekends. I had to measure the use of my energy with an eye-dropper. Anything stressful that I engaged in took away from what little energy I had.

Before the cancer surgery, I was a walking version of Ann Landers to my friends. Just give me your problem and I'll do my best to solve it. (Now my OWN life problems...that was another matter.)

After surgery, and in the midst of chemo treatments, I discovered that I no longer had the luxury of taking on the problems of the world. It's not that I didn't care, but I didn't have the stamina to take the full load of somebody else's grief.

It was during that year of chemo that I made a discovery: There are some people who make a career out of telling their troubles to others. These "worry warts" never seem to solve their problems, but they get a lot of enjoyment out of sharing them with others.

For my own survival, I created what I called the crap line. Here's how it works:

• You start out your day, doing whatever it is that you do (a job, parenting, running a business, etc.)
• If someone comes to you and wants to "dump" a problem on your shoulders, and you can handle it, fine.
• At the point in your day when you know you've had enough of other people's petty griefs, you draw an imaginary line in the sand (the "crap line") and you say to yourself: "Anybody who walks up to me after this point, until this day is over, is out of luck. They can come back tomorrow."
• I never mentioned my "crap line" to the people I worked with or associated with in the community. I never had to say "Go away. I don't want to hear your story."
• I did notice that people who are perpetual whiners will always find SOMEBODY to complain to, whether it's you or someone else. So the crap line won't discourage them from playing their games elsewhere.]
• I did notice that making my own crap line gave me a sense of control over my own life. And when you're dealing with chemo and recovery from cancer, your mental attitude and emotional well-being is of prime importance.
• One other tip for cancer patients (if you haven't already discovered this): A book by Norman Cousins put me onto the concept that humor is invaluable in one's recovery program. Look for people who make you laugh. Watch funny programs on TV. Watch funny movies. Laughter is therapeutic and cleansing; the larger the dose and the more frequent, the better.
• When you're a cancer patient, you have no idea what your future lifespan will be. The approach I took was to live one day at a time, look for all the goodness I could derive from that day, say "Thank you" in gratitude for that goodness, put a frame around it and say,"I've had (insert number of days) days of life and nobody can take that away from me."